Misc Monday ~ in which there are not enough spoons

Many of you are probably already aware of the Spoon Theory. (Those of you who are not should read up on it. It’s a great way to describe energy rationing for those with chronic illness or disabilities. Even if this doesn’t impact you at all, it probably impacts one or more of your close friends or family members, whether or not you know it.)

Now, usually I have plenty of spoons. However, I do have occasional depressive tendencies. (I think many of us do, whether or not we acknowledge them.) I do not mean “ooh, you get sad a lot” when I refer to depression. I am referring to the more physical version, which comes with fatigue and a complete lack of energy or motivation to do anything. And I don’t mean that I don’t want to do my chores. When I get depressed, I don’t want to do anything. And I don’t have the energy for much, either. There are days when the only reason I get out of bed is because I have to go to work. (I don’t have bad enough episodes to prevent me from going to work on my worst days. I have it comparatively good, and I recognize that. But I have also learned not to belittle my issues just because “someone else has it worse”.)

Anyway, like I said, usually I have plenty of spoons. But last week, I had barely enough spoons for the entire early part of the week. I managed to do what I had to, and only what I had to. Once that was done, I collapsed on the couch, staring at the TV and not even really doing any crafting because even knitting or crocheting took too much energy.

This is something I am both used to and not. I am used to it enough that I know there are days when I am not going to get anything done and have come to accept that there’s no use beating myself up over it; that will only make things worse because guilt feeds my depression and makes it last longer. Sleep is one of the things that helps, but it seems I have to force myself to get sleep because getting ready for bed takes too much effort.

So… all of this is to explain why this blog post is delayed, and being posted in the afternoon instead of the morning. Once my spoons were replenished toward the end of last week, I didn’t have time to catch up on everything and scheduling blog posts was one of the easy things to set aside.

But, I am also writing this post as a reminder. Sometimes people who seem perfectly fine aren’t. And sometimes they need extra understanding or extra help even when there’s no visible reason why they should. If you have enough spoons, and you see someone who is running low, please consider doing something to help them out. Even a small thing for you could be huge for them.

Advertisements