Good morning, people. For those of you who don’t know me, I am Suzy. And today, you won’t be interested in the blog. Please turn the computers over to your pets – or maybe even your human children – and then walk away.
Are they gone? Good.
Now. Here’s an important lesson in How To Frighten Your Human.
First of all, this trick only works if your human can’t see you at the time. If they watch you do this, it won’t be nearly as effective. Start by finding something noisy. Anything will do, really. Then locate a nearby empty area. It needs to be far enough from the noisy thing that you won’t be suspected of having anything to do with the noise, and yet close enough that you can get to the empty spot without being seen. Once you have all your logistics settled, follow these easy steps:
- Knock over the noisy thing.
- Run really fast (and really quietly) to the empty spot.
- Stand perfectly still and, when your human appears, initiate a staring contest.
If you have chosen well, your human will not look for the source of the noise, but will instead wander in confusion, trying to determine if something is wrong with YOU. Which (played correctly) can result in extra cuddles or treats. This works especially well if a clever cat can position herself underneath a second-story bannister and stand partially crouched, as if she has just fallen off.
I hope you can get as much use out of this little tip as I have! You can let your humans come back to their computers now. Be sure to navigate away form this page and clear the browsing history first, though.