Friday Snippet · Write Now

Friday Snippet ~ 7.30.10

Here’s another snippet, this one going back to the bit I posted on the 9th. It’s from the beginning of a story that I’m working on at the moment, the one that was the first story I ever really worked on. Of course, this is the current iteration and not the original, over-ten-year-old one. I’m enjoying the story, and it frustrates me no end that I don’t have as much time to work on it as I would like. I know, I know, make the time, right? I wish it were that easy.

Quick background, the main characters have been pulled from Earth into some other world by a group of elves who claim to be rescuing our heroes back from some magical exile. Among the MCs, it is up for debate whether or not the elves are telling the truth.

Anyway, here’s the snip, and happy Friday!

Her eyes searched his, then she took a deep breath. “Al—”

“Oh no.” Cutting her off with a finger to her lips, he shook his head. “Don’t you go calling me ‘Alleon,’ too. That’s not my name.” Under his fingers, her lips were soft and full, their touch distracting him. He had to close his eyes and swallow hard to remember what he was saying that was so important. “Of all the people here, I need you to call me ‘Alan’.”

“It matters that much to you?”

The wistfulness in her voice had his eyes flying open again. There was no anger in her expression, just curiosity and a touch of something he thought might be sadness. Only the fact that he didn’t really know her kept Alan from pulling her to him and holding her close. But he didn’t know her, and she didn’t know him, and she couldn’t really want —


And she’d asked him a question, which he had yet to answer. It took him a moment to remember what she’d asked. “Yes.” He took a deep breath and forced his hand back down to his side. “Yes, it matters that much.”

“Then you shall have it. Though I wonder…” She trailed off, blushing again as she glanced to the side and saw Venn approaching them.

Alan stepped closer and lowered his voice, though he really didn’t know how well the elves could hear. “What do you wonder?”

“Why does it matter what I call you if you don’t remember me?” She spoke to his feet, all the words coming out in a rush. Before he could figure out how to answer her, she’d raised her eyes to his face and continued speaking. “I mean, why me, in particular?”

“I guess it’s because you remind me of someone else.” He thought of Lynn’s green eyes and bleached blond hair. “Someone from Earth who meant a lot to me.”

“Oh. I see.”

“It‘s just —”

“No. It’s fine.” Stepping back, she smiled again, though it didn’t reach her eyes. “You want to go back, and you remember that life better than this one. I understand. I understand perfectly.”

Without waiting for his response, she spun around and headed for the trees. Frowning, he started to follow her, but stopped when he heard Venn‘s low chuckle.

“Still the same charm with the ladies that you ever had, I see,” the elf said as he approached.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“No, I can see you do not, or you would not be standing here talking to me… You would be chasing after her.”

Copyright 2010 by Nicole Tom, do no re-print or re-post without permission, rough draft so expect errors, etc, etc, etc.

3 thoughts on “Friday Snippet ~ 7.30.10

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